Hello! It is me. Beginnings and introductions are so awkward, but we all have to start somewhere…
I guess where I’d like to begin is with how my day started. I woke up around 5:09 am (I am, unfortunately, an obnoxiously early riser), ate a banana and took Pantoprazole to prep for the day’s bad decisions/little treats, and started drinking my first cup of iced coffee. I then texted some early thoughts to one of my partners, wrote out and edited some lists (I’m really big on lists—to-do lists, books to read, movies/shows to watch, goals, groceries—you name it), and then I sat with some thoughts. This is pretty routine for my slow mornings, and I adore it.
I thought about all sorts of stuff: where I am, right now, in this moment of my life; being unemployed; how certain people make me feel; about my on-again/off-again THC use (currently, I’m back on); how I’m uneasy about all of the medications I’m on (I currently take twelve types of pills a day, for various mental/physical issues). I thought about a lot, while propped up by pillows in my bed, watching my room brighten with the sun, with my dog snoozing under a blanket beside me.
I thought about how I have a lot of feelings, and lot to say about them. So, here I am, 2.5 cups of coffee in, and ready to spill my guts.
I don’t know if people will subscribe. I don’t know if others will be interested in what I have to say, particularly since I’m already such an oversharer on social media. But maybe something will resonate with someone, somewhere, reaching out from the Vast Space of the Internet, and maybe someone will feel less alone. Just for that, it could be worth it.
But I’m also trying desperately to keep my life from going in scary directions, since there’s just a lot going on right now. That being said, this blog will (hopefully) act as an anchor for me, some place for me to process all of the things that fill my hamster brain (whether before the crack of dawn, or at a more reasonable hour).
I hope you’ll tolerate my ramblings, and maybe even enjoy them.
